'You are the worst person I have ever known!' I yell, scream, you do this to me. You and only you. You belittle me. Degrade me. Make me feel worthless. I tell myself I'm beautiful, one look from you and I believe I'm lying to myself. I go by each day hoping to never have to see you again. I've never wanted to kill somebody as I do you. You tell me silently, 'You're worthless, no one could ever love you.' I believe you. I am worthless. For the longest time, that is all I have known. I want to cut myself all the time. To feel a different kind of pain. Something to distract me from the emotional damage you have caused. I cut myself.
I cut, I remember your words, 'You ugly piece of shit. Nobody loves you.'
I cut myself deeper. Your words, 'Kill yourself alrea...'
As I continue to inflict physical pain on myself, your swords of words seem to fade away. They become blurry. I don't feel them as much. Then the wounds heal, the cuts, and I remember it all. I believe you. I am worthless. I have no purpose on this earth. If I killed myself, no one would notice. I had no friends. But, I couldn't bring myself to take my own life. I had tried. It just seemed like the impossible. I hated myself, I hated my life, but I couldn't end it.
'Kill yourself already', you say to me.
'I can't.'
'Yes you can.'
'No, I can't. I won't.'
The rage is building. I'm tired of you.
'You can. Do it already!!'
'NO!!'
I punch you. Maybe that'd send the message across. My hand breaks through the glass, I keep the broken mirror down.